On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
