Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
