I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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