was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
