We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
