we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
