come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
