I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
