I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You took a bar mat shot.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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