You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
