I must be too annoying 4 u.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Randomize
