it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
