my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
