i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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