i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Bring me that man meat
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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