hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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