I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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