I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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