You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
