maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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