Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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