If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
