So drunk, too bad you don't want this
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
