oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
well, you know. whores of a feather.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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