So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
