They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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