he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
