Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
