Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
