I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
