Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
