well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
