soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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