wanna go halves on a baby?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
