i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
