Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
