My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
