there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
We left the knife in your bed.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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