And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
