Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
