she looked like the bat from fern gully.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
