Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
