Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize