I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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