Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
