SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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