absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize
