Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
