I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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