Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
