I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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